i was walking into the kitchen today, and saw my dog casually walking on two legs. my first thought was “this bitch think she human”,and in all actuality my family always treats her like she is so i cant blame her.
i jus wanna wake up one day and shes talks, i wish animals spoke.
i hate when my tv makes demands. it says things like “call NOW” ,”DONT touch that remote”, or “DONT miss it”. When im stoned it pisses me off and i go into these tantrums like “Bitch (my tv is a female) i do what i want, you dont control me, who the fuck do you think you are. i own you , you dont own me. i still have the receipt for you. you better get your act together”
but then family guy comes on and we’re cool again.